


All the Way

by hereforthephilindafics



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Coulson is a dork, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Undercover, the bra incident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23402962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereforthephilindafics/pseuds/hereforthephilindafics
Summary: My version of what happened during the infamous bra incident.This is probably the most in-canon thing I've ever written.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54
Collections: MCU Kink Bingo Round 4





	All the Way

**Author's Note:**

> For the MCU Kink Bingo
> 
> Square Filled: Characters are in a Pretend Relationship

Coulson opened the manilla envelope, read the first line and sighed. The cafeteria of the Triskelion was buzzing during lunch time. Garrett plopped in the seat next to him. Coulson scooted away from Garrett who loved to get in his personal space.

“New mission? Who’d ya get?” Garrett bumped his shoulder.

Coulson sighed. “Melinda May.”

“Another mission with her? Yikes!” Garrett made a barfing face.

“She’s not bad. But she’s just…I don’t know.”

“Scary?”

“Intimidating, I guess. I always say the wrong thing when I’m talking to her.”

Garrett looked over at his paper. “Well, it says there you’ll be a couple, so you’ll probably have a script of things to say or something.”

Coulson pushed the paper back into the envelope. “Hey, this is supposed to be confidential. And no script, we are supposed to get details when we get to Florida.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Coulson gulped down the rest of his coffee. “Did you get a new mission too?”

Garrett nodded. “Off to Sarajevo, and I can tell you because mine is not important enough to be classified. I’m starting to think our man Fury has a favorite.”

“Sure.” Coulson got up and picked up the envelope. “Just don’t get yourself killed, please.”

“No promises.”

Coulson was never able to get a good night’s sleep before a mission, especially an undercover one. He was trying not to dwell on the fact that this was his second undercover mission with Melinda May. Did their superiors think they worked well together? After the fiasco in Sausalito Coulson thought they would never see each other again. Agent May was probably still pissed at him about having to take a dip in the bay while not wearing a bikini. Melinda May in a bikini would be a view…. What the hell was he doing? Coulson shook his head while he tried to get his tie right for the third time. His mobile phone rang, alerting him that transport was outside his door.

Coulson got into the car without assessing who was in it first and almost spilled his coffee all over his lap when he saw Melinda May sitting in the other seat. She blinked at him and sipped her tea.

“Good morning,” Coulson said. He could already feel his neck flush.

“Good morning, Agent Coulson.”

Coulson cleared his throat. “Excited for this mission?”

May deadpanned. “Ecstatic.”

Coulson sipped his coffee. The hot liquid burned his tongue, but he couldn’t spit it out and make a fool of himself, so he just swallowed, ignoring the pain. He could feel the tips of his ears heat up. Crap!

“You okay, Agent Coulson?”

“Mhm.”

“Coulson, you read any good comics lately?” Agent Morales said.

Coulson had not realized he was driving. Great, more ammunition for May to call him a dork.

“Have been a little busy, man.” Coulson looked at May with the tail of his right eye.

She smirked. “Comics. You guys are so cute.”

“Yeah, sorry we can’t all be ninja assassins twenty-four seven,” Morales said.

“No, you can’t.”

Coulson checked his watch. He hoped this was going to be a quick mission or otherwise May would be making fun of everything he did.

“Already tired of me, Coulson?”

Crap! “No! Of course not, I just…umm…I want to make sure we are on time.”

May chuckled. “Relax, I don’t really care.”

Coulson sank in his seat and tried to keep to his side as much as possible. The rest of the ride was quiet, which he knew surprised Morales. The driver kept glancing back at Coulson through the rearview mirror. If it were just the two of them in the car, they would be talking about the latest Captain American comics and whatever memorabilia Coulson had found in antique shops. Instead, Coulson took out his briefing papers and went over them again.

They were supposed to be watching a biology professor who might have purchased an 0-8-4 that S.H.I.E.L.D hadn’t been able to get their hands on in time. Coulson and May were supposed to be a couple. Coulson sighed. This was going to be a long mission.

“Worried about what the 0-8-4 might be, Coulson?” May asked.

He looked up from the papers in his lap and blinked. “Ummm…yeah.”

He watched her as May studied him, tilting her head to the right. Coulson almost smiled when she gave up after a few minutes, just like almost everyone else did. He was too plain for anyone to bother and spare a second look.

“Good luck, Coulson, I’ll save you the next Captain America comic that comes out,” Morales said as he dropped them off at the airport.

Coulson sighed loudly as May chuckled. They checked in and headed for their gate. Luckily the flight was not delayed.

“This resort looks fancy,” May said, flipping through a brochure.

“Big S.H.I.E.LD decided we are worthy of a treat I guess.”

May only hummed and went back to the brochure.

Coulson shifted in his seat. He was usually very good at reading people, guessing what they might be interested in and like to talk about, but Melinda May…. It was like a wall surrounded her. She never indicated if something phased her or not. He wondered if it was part of the Specialist training.

“Coulson, they just opened our gate,” May said, nudging him.

He decided he might as well get in the role and picked up her carry on as well. May tossed her hair back and threw him a smile before handing her ticket to the flight attendant. Coulson tried to control his blush.

She didn’t speak to him for the rest of the flight, too lost in her book. Coulson tried to nap but slept fitfully. They finally landed and he almost ran off the plane. He spotted their driver, an agent he remembered seeing from The Hub.

“Over there, darling,” Coulson said, pointing at the driver dressed in a suit, and wrapping his arm around May’s waist.

He could tell May was looking at him with a bit of surprise, but he kept smiling. The agent looked confused. Coulson realized he was holding a sign that read “Martin” but he and May had not been given their aliases in D.C. If he hadn’t recognized the agent playing the role of their driver that would have been awkward.

“Welcome to Orlando, Mister and Missis Martin,” the driver said. “Please follow me this way to your car.”

May stopped to kiss his cheek and whisper, “So I’m guessing we are married?”

Coulson nodded, taking her hand and leading her to the car. When they got in, an agent he didn’t know turned to face them from the front seat.

“Do you always run uncoordinated missions?” May asked before Coulson could open his mouth. He chuckled at the confused face of who he assumed was their field commander.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You’re pardoned, Agent…?” May asked.

“Agent Downs, and what the hell are your prattling on about?”

Coulson saw May’s left hand clench and covered it with his right. “My partner meant to say that our briefing papers in D.C. were very vague. We were told we were supposed to be a couple, but that the rest of the information would begiven to use once we landed. Yet, once here, your agent playing the driver’s part didn’t bother to wave us down.”

Downs’ eyes widened for a second, but that was all Coulson needed. “So how did you know it was him?”

“I’ve met him before.”

Downs huffed. “Well, anyhow, here are your papers.” He all but threw the envelopes at them.

May looked at Coulson as she opened hers, holding it as far away from her as possible without looking suspicious.

“It says here we are married,” Coulson said.

“And?” Downs asked, not bothering to turn.

“We were told we were a couple, not married.”

“Listen, kid, this is the mission. If you don’t like it go back and bitch at Fury when you’re in D.C.”

Coulson turned to look at May who was watching their route carefully. Usually, when agents had to be briefed in cars enroute, they would take secondary streets to add some prep time. Their car was flying down the highway, breaking a few speed limits.

“Are we trying to get arrested before we even make it to the destination?” May asked, raising her eyebrow.

“Both of you zip it,” Downs said. “Put on your coms and switch them on. They need to be on even when you’re in your room.” He turned to stare them down. “ **Especially** when you’re in your room.”

Coulson and May nodded but looked at each other when Downs turned forward again. Coulson had never been gladder to be out of a car. He hoped they never got anyone like him as a field commander again. May smiled at him as Coulson got their bags, but he didn’t hold them for long as one of the valets rushed to help and led them to the check-in desk.

“Welcome to Ocean Sand,” the front desk girl said, smiling, “my name is Debbie.”

“Hello there, Debbie.” Coulson handed her the IDs that had been in the envelope and pulled May closer, kissing her hair.

“We have you in our Honeymoon suit, with all inclusive service,” Debbie said, not looking up from the computer screen.

Coulson looked at May quickly before turning to Debbie with a smile. “Awesome!”

“These are your bracelets, please extend your right arm so I can secure them on your wrists.”

“Ummm,” May leaned on the counter, “we can put them on ourselves. You see, I’m a huge germophobe and I need to make sure everything is clean before I put it on.” She accentuated everything she said with her hands and laughed so loud Coulson felt his ear drum pop lightly.

Debbie seemed confused and a little scared.

Coulson smiled and took the bracelets. “Sorry, my honey is worried we will catch a bug while on our honeymoon and ruin our trip, don’t you babe?” He kissed May’s cheek. She wiggled a little too much and her ass rubbed his groin. Coulson’s grip on her hip tightened.

“Of course, sorry I didn’t mean to sound pushy,” Debbie said.

“Everything okay here?” a man dressed in a dark-blue suit said, approaching the desk.

“Yes, Mr. Alter, just finishing up with our guests,” Debbie said.

Coulson nodded and May smiled.

“I hope your stay is enjoyable.”

“I’m sure it will be,” May said, taking the papers Debbie handed her. “Babe, can you get the bags? I don’t feel like waiting for the valet to bring them up.”

“On it, hon.” Coulson tipped the valet and rushed to follow May.

When they got on the elevator Coulson switched his com off and May followed. He dropped the bags on the floor, pulling May to him. She gasped when he kissed her on the mouth but was careful not to let his tongue slip out.

“Drop the bracelets in the space between the elevator door and the floor when we exit,” Coulson whispered in her ear as he bit her. He felt her head move up and down quickly.

He picked up their bags and heard the light clink of the hard plastic as it slid down the elevator shaft. He pulled May to him again. She giggled, humming. Coulson almost forgot this was all an act. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and pulled her closer to his body, gripping her ass.

“Something doesn’t add up. That guy Alter was listed as one of the people we could trust, but he didn’t give me any signs that he knew who we were. We need to sweep the room for bugs,” he said, nibbling her neck and licking it.

“Mmhhhmmm.” May gasped and giggled, keeping it up even when a family of three walked past them.

“Come on, babe, we can do a lot more in our room,” Coulson said, grinning.

May went in first, gasping at their suite. It really looked comfortable; a king-sized bed covered in fluffy white covers and pillows, a spacious foyer, and a private patio to the pool. Coulson eyed the jacuzzi in the corner. Maybe he would get to see Agent May in a bikini after all.

“Babe, this is all so beautiful!” May jumped on the bed, rolling around in it and patting the covers, laughing.

Coulson smirked, realizing she was trying to see if there was anything in the bed, and on the ceiling, since she laid down and looked at the chandelier hanging over her for a few seconds.

“Only the best for you, babe!” Coulson put the bags down and took his shoes off, taking the opportunity to check under the table by the door for any wires.

“I love the vanity. I want one like this when we move into our new place,” May said. She proceeded to open every drawer and move what few toiletries were on it. “Ahh, the details of this mirror are beautiful.”

Coulson hummed and almost double over when he felt May jump on his back. He held her thighs as she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed his neck.

“The bug is in the mirror, one of the carved roses looks like it has been cut off, the camera put in, and then glued back on, it has a few scratches.”

Coulson walked toward the bed, threw her on the mattress and sat on the bed, turning to face her. May was lying there, arms above her head and grinning, like they weren’t in imminent danger. He crawled over her and kissed her.

“You think they have sound?”

“No, but we still gotta sell it.”

Coulson pulled back, and looked at her, blinking.

May rolled her eyes and sat up, kissing him. “We are in a honeymoon suit. I’m assuming whoever sold us out told whoever is watching we won’t know we are supposed to be newlyweds. If we jump each-other’s bones that will confuse them.”

Coulson knew he was blushing. “Okay.” He closed his eyes when his response came out like a squeak.

“Relax,” May said, kissing his cheek.

He made himself comfortable on the bed as she stood, unzipped her jeans, and took off her shirt. Coulson tried not to stare but she was wearing a matching set of black lace. The panties left little to the imagination and the bra pushed her breasts together. Coulson wanted to lick her cleavage. May sighed and rolled her eyes quickly. She crawled back over him, bending down to kiss him.

“Sit up and grip my ass or something,” she whispered, starting to grind her hips on him.

“Oh..ok…okay!”

She giggled when Coulson sat up. He slapped her right ass cheek and sank his nails in it, trying not to get hard. It was impossible. May kept moving in his lap. He groaned.

“Take off my bra.”

“What?!”

May groaned, shifting her wight on her knees. “Take off my bra. Come on we already took too long for a newlywed couple.”

“Agent May, I don’t think…”

“Stop being a dork, Coulson.” She bit his neck.

Coulson knew it wasn’t a playful bite. He kneaded her ass a minute more and then slid his hands up her back until he reached the band of her bra. His fingers slipped the first time because the material was tight on her torso.

“How do you breathe in this?”

“Are you serious right now?” May threw her head back so it looked like she was moaning on camera, but her hair got in the way.

Coulson tried to pull the elastic but ended up pulling a lock of hair.

“Ouch!”

“Sorry!”

“Seriously?”

Coulson tried again, he felt for the metallic hooks and pushed them away from where they were. May groaned in relief when the contraption fell from her chest. She pushed him back and held his stare as she peeled the cups off her breasts. Coulson watched as her nipples hardened with the temperature change. He had stopped trying to hide his erection but now he was worried May could feel how his head was leaking and dampening the front of his pants. Coulson whined. This was not fair. He knew he should be groping her supple breasts, pull and pinch the nipples, suck as much as he could into his mouth, but all he could do was stare at how perfect she was.

May had other ideas. She pushed him back down and covered his face with her chest. “No wonder you read comics, Coulson. You have no game.”

He groaned and gripped her ass, flipping them, grinning when May’s back hit the mattress and knocked the wind out of her. “What was that—

Someone was banging on their door. “Coulson, May! Open up! Mission over!”

“Agent Morales?” Coulson asked, without moving from between May’s thighs.

“Yeah, man, open up!”

“Unless you guys are naked and would like a five more minutes,” a second voice said.

May groaned when a chorus of laughs filtered through the door. She shoved Coulson off, collected her clothes, and disappeared into the bathroom. He sat there and took a few deep breaths, willing his hard dick to go down but he knew he would still be pitching a tent when he opened the door.

“So, Agent Downs sold the 0-8-4 and made up this whole thing?” Coulson asked.

May was sitting next to him in front of Fury and Agent Morales as they were debriefed.

“Son of a bitch made me spend all that money putting you two up in a nice resort and all.”

“Told you something didn’t add up,” Coulson said, turning to May smirking.

She only nodded, looking at a picture of a cat on the wall behind Fury. Coulson frowned.

“That’s why I drove you to the airport, Coulson. I was trying to gage how much you knew about the mission. I got on a private plane and was tailing you guys the whole time.”

“I guess I failed as a Specialist because I didn’t notice that,” May said.

“Agent May, you and Agent Coulson noticed nothing added up, that’s more important,” Fury said.

May nodded and didn’t say anything else. She tried to rush past Coulson when they were done.

“Agent May…wait!” Coulson almost ran after her. He took a step back when she whipped around. She looked mad. “I…I wanted to apologize if I crossed any lines during this mission. We had not discussed boundaries, so I guess that’s a lesson for next time.”

May snorted. “You think we’ll be working together again?”

Coulson swallowed. He had tried to be the best partner a Specialist like Melinda May could need, but she clearly found him incompetent.

“I’m surprised they didn’t fire me after failing to realize Morales was tailing us!”

Coulson blinked. Was she being serious? “May…” He took a step closer and smiled when she didn’t flinch or move back. “He didn’t want to be spotted because he needed us to play along. He has been doing this for five years more than us. We just started, we are bound to mess up now and them.”

May crossed her arms over her chest and huffed.

“So that’s your thing huh?”

“What?”

“You’re a perfectionist. You beat yourself up if you don’t do your best always.”

May rolled her eyes. “Well, we can’t all be dorks who still read comics.”

Coulson laughed. “No, you can’t. But you can let a nerd buy you tea.”

May smiled. “Okay.”


End file.
